Thursday, April 19, 2012

Should I Turn On the Safe Mode?

Whenever Windows decides to update my laptop's OS and mess up the system, I would often find myself choosing the "Safe mode". After that I can choose a restore point to be back on track. There are moments in my life when I want to have that state - the safe mode. But at the same time I always want to be that person who thrives under difficult situations. That super girl (wannabe) who rises above any challenge. I adore the alpha males and females of the world, the clutch guys who would take over then take and make the winning shot. Lately I've been faced several challenges, I can say that I surpassed at least level 2. I'm just halfway through this journey and there's so much to do and prove. Although I like the adrenaline from discovering new shores, sometimes I want to go back to where I'm comfortable. But at the same time, I like the new experiences and the uncertainty that it brings. A part of me likes routines and stability. The NDAs make this blog post so vague. Plus, I think this is a perfect example that I am a Gemini.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Of (bad and good) Dreams and Realities

My usual nightmares consist of dogs licking my face or rats, big rats, swarming me. That may sound ordinary to other people but that would cause me to wake up with sweat and unsteady breathing. Dont get me wrong, I dont hate dogs, but I'm not really fond of them either. Maybe because my sister have asthma and we never really had a chance to own a pet dog. On our humble abode, we only have fishes and birds as house pets. They dont need extra care, you just setup the aquarium and cage then its good to go. As for the rats, I dont think I need to explain it any further.

I've dreamt about those 2 nightmares on multiple times so I've checked out dream interpretations websites. For the dogs licking my face, ewww,
"a dog depicts a male and your need to care for or love something, or be loved". Good thing, the urge to own a pet dog was never mentioned on any site because I cant imagine taking care of one. My friend Roxy, who loves dogs and cats, used to tease me that maybe God will punish me for not liking these creatures enough, by being married to a veterinarian. As for dreaming about rats, the common interpretation was "you may sense something negative - a fear, anxiety or physical sickness". Yup, that's instant sickness because I always end up with a headache after a disrupted sleep.

Last night, I dreamt a new kind of nightmare. Usually, I dont remember the entire dream but this one was clear. I came to a party, alone, and ended up meeting two men from my distant past. During the early months moving on, I admit that I would dream about them, separately of course and I would naturally think that I just miss them. The twist in this dream was, I saw them both with their own set of family. They came with their wives and children, then approached the oh-so-going-solo me. "To dream of ex lover means you need some kind of closure to your old relationship".

Hmm, for the first guy, we didn't have a closure per se but at some point he asked someone to say that he never meant to do what he did. And at that time I was in my happy place so I said, please tell him that its ok. That would count for a closure, I guess.

On the otherhand, the previous one, what happened almost 2 years ago, could've been handled better. But I think Im fine now so I dont have an idea why I have to dream about them!!!

Come to think of it, it might be because of the 2 events, my closest guy friend and a fairly new guy friend are getting married. The two friends who I think have sworn, while drunk, that they are not getting married any time soon. But no, I dont have any unrequited, secret love for either of them. Im actually happy and I support their decisions but I feel sad that - let me borrow Keane's lyrics-

everybody is changing - even those who I least expect - but I dont feel the same.

Note to self: Feel better soon! One day the reasons will unfold.

Friday, April 06, 2012

Traditions. Holy Week

Three months after declaring that I will try to write more meaningful blog posts, I ended up with a total of 2 posts each for January - February and ZERO entry for March. Good job! Actually, I've been busy for the first 3 months of 2012 and that means I have a lot of things to write about! So today, I came across Bianca Gonzales' tweet about her blog being a time capsule and I suddenly felt inspired. There's no other way to start writing that to write. So here it goes.

Today is a Good Friday, a national holiday and I'm back in the city after an overnight stay at my province, Cabiao, Nueva Ecija. Unlike most people's province, traveling to mine is only 2 hours ride. That's roughly like watching 1 movie, 4 episodes of How I Met Your Mother or comparable to how long it will take to commute from Caloocan to Makati on a payday Friday.
Holy Week is one of the longest legal holidays that we have in the Philippines because the non working holiday starts on Maundy Thursday, to remember Jesus' last supper. For 2012, the holiday is extended on Monday because of the National Day of Valor to remember the Fall of Bataan during World War 2. The Holy Week is usually a 4 day break and I often get invited to go to the beach or visit my friend's provinces but I prefer to keep the family traditions on Holy Week.

Our ancestral home is a few steps away from our barangay's chapel where the "pabasa" is done. My nanay/lola was active on the church when she was able to walk but now my aunt/ninang is our family representative to the church activities. I remember when I was younger, I had a chance to sing the pabasa with my cousins and neighbors. It is not one of my shining moments because Im not very proud of my voice which was unfortunately streamed to the entire barangay. Hmm, maybe I should bring up that next year my cousins and younger siblings should experience that too.

By 4PM, on Maundy Thursday, the Galang family were complete on our humble abode with TV series and movies in stock since Globe's 3G is extremely doubtful. Internet is one of our sacrifice during Holy Week or on any random stay at our province. My cousins and I ended up on a 6 hour screamfest while watching The Walking Dead.
On the morning of Good Friday, once the pabasa is done, the penetensya starts. "Penitensya" is a tagalog word for penance. There are two types, the one who gets crucified on their cross and those who inflict wounds. Both gather first on the open area of the chapel before the parade that will end up on the river. I usually cringe at the sight of their blood but I respect the tradition. Because its done in the month of April, summertime in the Philippines, walking alone under the scorching sun can be considered an act of penance.

We are a Catholic family but we can be fun too, during Holy Week. I think, apart from watching the penitensya together, we also enjoy eating dirty ice cream together. Sometimes, we would buy the entire crate to the delight of manong ice cream!

Another tradition is selling softdrinks to people who joins the parade. My aunts own a store in front of our ancestral house and the cold drinks sell like hotcakes before and during the penitensya parade.

The holy week is a time to reflect but on our busy lives, it is also the perfect time to get together with our family. So for me, this is one of the traditions that I would like to keep.