Most of the time, saying "no" leaves me very uncomfortable although at the back of my mind, logic dictates that I should not feel guilty that I came about that decision.
These thoughts were triggered this morning when a team member asked if she can work remotely again, for the 2nd time this week. We have a once a week WR policy and I've noticed that regardless of different reasons, she already have a pattern of multiple WR. I could've easily allowed her but I decided to say "no". My answer was "if you can, please try to make it because you already rendered your WR this week." My predecessor was very lenient on these things but I know that I should be firm especially since its backed up by the company policies.
I try to remove the guilty feeling, as expected to a people pleaser, especially if I'm opting out because I feel that it's the best option. Saying "yes" is the first option if you want to maintain "peace" but few experiences threw me in a difficult situation because of that answer. Yeah, the perfect I brought it upon myself moments.
It is hard to say "no" because it can certainly disappoint and hurt another person. It can be as simple as skipping a Friday night out because I think I've already outgrown spending too much on beer that I'll soon throw up. Eww gross sorry! I prefer lunch or coffee dates with friends where we can spend quality time catching up without the loud background music and smoke. Or it can be saying "no" to someone who asks for a loan. There's a popular saying that "make sure that the amount you lend is an amount you are willing to write off as a loss." This is true especially if you loan it to a friend or family member.
I should keep a big note to self sign that "it's ok to say no" to those that conflict with my priorities and values but I should make sure that I do it politely so that I won't burn bridges along the way!