What happens when you realized that you did the thing that you hate the most? I personally feel strongly against people who blame others for their situation. It leaves a bad taste when people say they're the victim and someone else caused their misfortune. For as long as I now, I believed that I am the master of my destiny so I have the power to get myself out of whatever that pulls me down.
Yesterday, I was such a terrible human being. I was selfish and out of line. I said hurtful words, I questioned someone else's truth for the sake of my peace of mind. When the dust settled in, I was left dumbfounded because I wasn't able to gain that peace that I was hoping for. I realized that I was doing what I hated the most, blaming others for my insecurities. It sucks to have that realization because everything that I was fighting for felt trivial. I'm ashamed of the person that I have become.
Today, I just want to be in solitude and reflect on the choices that I've made. Luckily, all is not lost and I just need to heal. I can start that by forgiving myself but how do I begin?